Race 1 - China
The GP2 season returned last Sunday where the teams ventured out to China for the first race. Both Modzy and pessi couldn’t make it, although Silicnt almost missed out because his PC decide to update just randomly.
China is known for loving its red and yellow, so expectations were running high on the Scuderia’s of Ploddy and Silicnt with team principal Flouncy saying “if both drivers don't finish first, they had better be prepared to be my bitches, Ploddy more so than Silicnt”. Ploddy then fired back saying that Flouncy had no right to talk smack to him as his contract specifically says “Flouncy is to be me bitch, and my bitch alone for eternity and forever.” Millen then waded in, asking “why the flying f#*k” Flouncy was in the GP2 season in the first place, and that he “should go back to the F1 season to cause damage and carnage with Ghost”.
Green “DNF maestro” Machine made a surprise switch to the Williams for China, most likely in protest over the unfair advantage the Toro Rosso was giving him with the assist. Green Machine said that “even when running assists, the car feels worse than any other car I have driven. Every time I put down even 33% of throttle, I just get wheel spin which catapults me into the wall.” He did a stellar drive, going from lonely last up to 2nd for his first points of the season.
Race 2 - China
Silicnt was up to is old antics, asking “is this the race?” as soon as the lights went out.
Eradicator experienced a puncture on lap 5 and then had to pit. This also caused him to lose a fair amount of places.
Ploddy continued his dominance from the last round taking out the win by 30 seconds, with E.T. finishing third.
Not happy with 4th, Jase decided to prove to Ploddy he was still the fastest, and set the fastest lap proclaiming “beat that!”
The second race made the teams then fly out to the beautiful Black Sea resort near the city of Sochi in Russia. A quick look at the track for qualifying made all the drivers wonder if the sea had really decided to take over the track, as the track was pretty much flooded. It was at that point that Tran realised that this was the worst thing in the world, as he didn't know the track, let alone see 3 feet in front of him.
The drivers managed to get out onto the track and set some times, with only 3 drivers recording a sub 2 minute time. Silicnt couldn't be bothered setting a time, claiming “this is f*#%ing b#>^%£&t, why did I even sign up?” as his Ferrari ran back to China to claim some 5 cent spare parts made by a 3 year old.
Eradicator lived up to his name by “eradicating” the sea from the track just in time for the race. Locals say that hadn't seen a miracle like it since Tony Abbott got brutally shirt fronted by President Vladimir Putin.
In a fatal twist, Eradicator was then brutally punted off the track by Tran coming into turn “that one corner everyone screws up”. It seems Tran wasn't impressed by seeing a GP2 car in front of him, and so saw red.
And red he did see as he was than forced to pit for a new front wing.
Kobus vented his frustration at the game because he got multiple penalties for “ingnoring blue flags” as Ploddy cached up to the back of him, despite no blue flags being shown on track. Silicnt also reported the same thing, although he was very tempted to take out his teammate.
Green Machine randomly dropped out of the race, however his team did him a favour by deploying its new remote control driver system to keep him in contention. Greeny was not happy as a podium looked to be on the cards as Kvyat proved to be no help with the system in keeping 3rd place. “He’s no help at all, he's bloody useless. “But its racing he says”; yeah racing that could very well cost me the championship. I mean its was home Grand Prix, surely that would have encourage him to take the win! I'm driving for Williams in the next race.”
Ploddy kept up his dominance with another pole to win drive. Jase limited the damage by coming in P2 ahead of Erad doing his GP2 team proud.
|2||23||MrTran||Red Bull Racing||01:37.276||0|
|3||13||Ploddy||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||01:37.534||0|
|7||22||Silicnt||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||01:46.656||0|
|1||13||Ploddy||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||00:24:04.738||14||01:40.591||3||25|
|2||14||GreenMachine||Scuderia Toro Rosso||+30.894||14||01:40.467||8||18|
|7||23||MrTran||Red Bull Racing||+1:07.235||14||01:40.829||2||6|
|8||22||Silicnt||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||+1 lap||13||01:43.675||7||4|
|1||13||Ploddy||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||01:58.083||0|
|3||14||GreenMachine||Scuderia Toro Rosso||01:59.885||0|
|4||23||MrTran||Red Bull Racing||02:00.801||0|
|NTS||22||Silicnt||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||00:00.000||0|
|1||13||Ploddy||Scuderia Ferrari Santander||00:24:55.289||0||01:25.619||1||25|
|PEN||3||Hyper||Williams F1 Team||+10.991||0||01:26.115||2||18|
|PEN||14||GreenMachine||Scuderia Toro Rosso||+45.663||0||01:27.294||5||12|